Why You Should Pray for Your Future Spouse

The following article was written in 2014 by Esther Rich of the Chastity Project.  Although it is a few years old it relates perfectly to what we were talking about on our most recent episode, Pure Dating Relationships and I wanted to share it here.  Also, I’ve attached a prayer for your future spouse that could be helpful to add to your daily prayer routine.  Here is a link to the original article.

“Pray for your future spouse.” It’s a beautiful phrase which often serves as a reminder to entrust everything to God – including our love lives. But more often than not we hear the phrase in the low points of singleness, when we’re encouraged to ask God to bring us the spouse we long for.

The problem with that is we risk getting so caught up in our own desires that we forget what we’re really praying about: a person! Sometimes we focus so much on the future that we forget they already exist. They’re the same person now as they will be when you meet them—they get out of bed every morning, go to work or school, spend time in prayer, practise hobbies and hang out with friends… And they have needs and desires! Instead of just prayers of petition for ourselves, we should be offering up prayers of intercession for our future spouses.

Around December last year I felt the Lord urging me to pray a novena for my future husband. I don’t know who he is yet, I don’t know what was happening in his life at that time, but I do know that for whatever reason he needed my prayers. Because I love the person he will be on our wedding day, I love the person he is right now—so I continue to pray for his growth with God and for his protection from the enemy.

I want to encourage you to pray for your future spouse, rather than simply praying to have them!

1. Seeing your future spouse as a real person will keep you focused in your pursuit of purity.

When the person you will marry becomes real in your mind rather than an abstract concept, they provide the motivation to resist temptation and save yourself for them. You know the heart of who you’re waiting for, even if you don’t yet know their name, height or hair color.

2. Praying for their needs will prepare you for the total gift of self that is marriage.

When you get married, and even more so if you have children, you will need to very quickly adapt to having more than just yourself to worry about, and sometimes having to put your own desires lower down the priority list. Replacing prayers for what you want with prayers for what they need is the first step.

3. Not focusing on your own desires helps you to put your trust in God.

You may feel you’re called to marriage, but only God knows when that will be. Demanding instant gratification in the romance department won’t alter God’s plan to prosper you. So instead of offering God a comprehensive list of qualities you need in a partner (with an N.B. that you’d prefer them all by next Easter), try thanking Him for the person they are and praying into their current situation… whatever that might be.

You might be thinking “soppy, overly-romantic, idealistic.” Well, anyone that knows me will tell you I’m none of those things. For me, praying for my future husband isn’t a way of “coping” with singleness, it’s an assertion in advance of my equal status in our relationship and prayer life. I believe that the power of a couple’s prayers for each other secures their relationship.

What if I don’t get married?

Your prayers are never wasted! You are, first and foremost, a bride of Christ—so if your vocation doesn’t involve marriage, then your prayers will be offered up to your holy spouse (Jesus) anyway. As the idea is already to pray for needs that we don’t fully understand, only Jesus will know what good your prayers do for humanity through Him.

Try adding your future spouse to your prayer list, or offering up a prayer whenever you think about them, and see how your perspective changes! Pray for blessings on their life, pray for their safety and security, pray for their faith and relationship with Jesus. Most of all pray for them, rather than your desire for them.

 

Prayer for your Future Wife

Loving Father, if I am called to the sacramental life of matrimony, hear my prayer now for the person who will be my spouse. Be with her today and every day. Help her through the challenges of becoming an adult and send my support in prayer through any difficulties. In this way, may I genuinely love this person even before we meet. I ask for help ahead of time to be respectful and honourable when we meet and begin a relationship. I ask for help ahead of time to be faithful, supportive, strong, and as loving as I can be when we are married. If I am privileged to help create new human beings, I pray today for my children. You exist outside of time, and you know who they will be, so I can pray for them now. Help me to do everything I can now to become the best parent I can be for them, from the day they are born to the day you call me home to heaven. Amen

Prayer for you Future Husband

Loving Father, if I am called to the sacramental life of matrimony, hear my prayer now for the person who will be my spouse.  Be with him today and every day.  Help him through the challenges of becoming an adult and send my support in prayer through any difficulties.  In this way, may I genuinely love this person even before we meet.  I ask for help ahead of time to be respectful and honourable when we meet and begin a relationship.  I ask for help ahead of time to be faithful, supportive, strong, and as loving as I can be when we are married.  If I am privileged to help create new human beings, I pray today for my children.  You exist outside of time, and you know who they will be, so I can pray for them now.  Help me to do everything I can now to become the best parent I can be for them, from the day they are born to the day you call me home to heaven.  Amen

 

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